Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
