He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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