More tranny stories later!
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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