I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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