I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
