I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
