When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
