I hate all girls vehemently.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
