Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
