hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
