Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
