that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
