This is not my ceiling
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
