You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
