oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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