I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
