Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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