we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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