yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
