Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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