Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize