Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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