who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
