i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
