I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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