i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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