I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
