If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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