We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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