What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
