Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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