Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
