I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
