Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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