Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
