Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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