He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
