Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
