You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
