I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am one with the molecules
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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