Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
