How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
