I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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