when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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