It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
