he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
