Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
