i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
