He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
