you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
