I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
