Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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