Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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