woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
