Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
