It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
