ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
