i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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