Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
